Some people who know me, who know of my past, know that I’ve not always made the best decisions for myself. They might tell you that since I’ve turned my life over to God and have started to spread His word that I am a hypocrite. You see, more than once in my life I turned my back on God, trying to convince myself that there is no God, no life before or after our life on earth, no heaven or hell. More than once I was angered by Christians who tried to “bible thump” to me – I didn’t want to hear it then. I thought that surely if there was a true God I wouldn’t be in the circumstances that plagued me.
I was wrong. Go figure.
I loved to be the life of the party. I wish I had all of the money I spent on alcohol and drugs. I successfully numbed myself to escape what life was handing to me. I turned to the wrong people looking for love. I hurt my family, my friends, everyone who loved me. I turned my back on them, and I turned my back on my faith.
I’m sharing this with you now so that you’ll understand that I have faults and I acknowledge them. I’m not here to stand on a soap box and preach hell-fire and damnation. I’m here to share with you the things I’ve witnessed first hand and tell you how I found my way back to Favor, back to God.
I’ve died 3 times, literally. My colon ruptured, my heart stopped several times, my organs left me with little “inners” left. I had cervical cancer and then developed severe cysts on my ovaries, so they’ve all been removed too. Not to mention my gall bladder and last but not least, my tonsils. My body has been through hell. So has my mind and my heart. I’ve been physically and mentally abused by people I had “relationships” with. My face has been shattered more than once and I suffer from migraines now. No wonder I tried to escape my problems drinking myself sick and using all kinds of legal and illegal drugs to cope with my problems.
What I’ve learned is that God didn’t turn his back on me. I turned my back on Him. I needed someone to blame. I was angry and hurt on many levels. It was easy for me to believe that not only had God given up on me, but that He must not even exist, because surely this God I’d learned about growing up in the Catholic Church wouldn’t have let such horrific things happen to me.
Guess what? I was wrong.
If I hadn’t gone through all of my trials and tribulations, I wouldn’t be sitting here now typing this to you. I wouldn’t be blissfully happy with unconditional, reciprocated love from my husband. I wouldn’t have the parents that love me like mine do, no matter how many times I’ve crushed their hopes and dreams. You see, I had to go through these things to mature, to make me realize that God isn’t the cause of the problems I’ve faced. He’s the Answer.
I’ve always had a 6th sense – premonitions through dreams, receiving signs that no one else can see, seeing Spirit with my plain old eyeballs. The more I receive God’s messages, the more signs I get that I’m on the right path – the path God paved for me to travel. Since I got baptized at our little white church in the country on October 23rd, 2011 I’ve had more prayers answered than I ever imagined. I’m here to witness to you that God works behind the scenes, even when we think He’s deserted us, even when we desert Him.
I hope that my experiences will help you identify how you can change your life for the better. I have learned to find inspiration in all things – my friends, family, reading, knitting, playing with Mia, etc. (This is Mia, my Angel)
Where do you find your inspiration? Can you acknowledge that if you open your heart and mind great things will happen? If you can, God will bless you with more than you ever knew existed. He has for me. He has for my husband. For that, I am thankful and I will continue to witness to you as the days pass and I am blessed more and more frequently, in abundance.
Enough of bad campaigning and lack of truth in advertising – the election is over – I elect to speak the truth here, to admit I was wrong, and to tell you how God can turn your life around… if you let Him.
May God bless you with comfort in knowing that He is on your side and that whatever adversity we face, we are facing to make us stronger in our faith. In Jesus’ name I pray for all of us, Amen!